1 files changed, 11 insertions, 12 deletions
diff --git a/introduction/chapter.tex b/introduction/chapter.tex
index 285bd14..4d1a566 100644
--- a/introduction/chapter.tex
+++ b/introduction/chapter.tex
@@ -101,13 +101,12 @@ WrightTools is made to be extended, so it will continue to evolve along with its
 From an instrumental perspective, MR-CMDS is a problem of calibration and coordination.  % 
 Within the Wright Group, each of our two main instruments are composed of roughly ten actively
 moving component hardwares. %
-Many of these components are purchased directly from vendors such as SpectraPhysics, National
-Instruments, Horiba, Thorlabs, and Newport.  %
-Others are created or heavily modified by graduate students.  %
+Many of these components are purchased directly from commercial vendors, while others are created
+or heavily modified by graduate students.  %
 The Wright Group has always maintained custom acquisition software packages which control the
 complex, many-stepped dance that these components must perform to acquire MR-CMDS spectra.  %
 
-When I joined the Wright Group, I saw that acquisition software was a real barrier to experimental
+When I joined the Wright Group, I saw that acquisition software was a barrier to experimental
 progress and flexibility.  %
 Graduate students had ideas for instrumental enhancements that were infeasible because of the
 challenge of incorporating the new components into the existing software ecosystem.  %
@@ -126,7 +125,7 @@ This has enabled graduate students to add and remove hardware whenever necessary
 about a heavy additional programming burden.  %
 PyCMDS is now used to drive both MR-CMDS instruments in the Group, allowing for easy sharing of
 component hardware and lessening the total amount of software that the Group needs to maintain.  %
-Besides being more flexible, PyCMDS solves a number of other problems.  %
+Besides being more flexible than prior software, PyCMDS solves a number of other problems.  %
 It offers fully automated strategies for calibrating component hardwares, making calibration less
 arduous and more reproducible.  %
 It offers more fine-grained control of data acquisition and timing, enabling more complex
@@ -138,9 +137,8 @@ Like any analytical technique, MR-CMDS is subject to artifacts: features of the
 caused by instrumental imperfections or limitations, and do not reflect the intrinsic material
 response that is of interest.  %
 % JCW: HOW THE EXPERIMENT WAS DONE, NOT WHAT IT IS HOPING TO MEASURE
-For example, consider absorptive effects \cite{CarlsonRogerJohn1989a}, pulse effects
-\cite{SpencerAustinP2015a}, and window contributions \cite{MurdochKiethM2000a}: all well-known
-artifacts in CMDS.  %
+For example, consider well-known artifacts such as absorptive effects \cite{CarlsonRogerJohn1989a},
+pulse effects \cite{SpencerAustinP2015a}, and window contributions \cite{MurdochKiethM2000a}.  %
 Since MR-CMDS is a very active experiment, with many moving motors, an active approach to artifact
 correction is particularly appropriate.  %
 Chapter \ref{cha:act} describes strategies for implementing such corrections.  %
@@ -149,7 +147,7 @@ at the same time.  %
 Dual chopping can correct for scatter and other unwanted processes, ensuring that the observed
 signal depends on all of the excitation beams.  %
 Fibrillation can wash out interference between desired and undesired processes, and is
-complementary with chopping.  %
+complementary to chopping.  %
 Automated poynting correction and power correction can account for non-idealities in OPA
 performance.  %
 
@@ -160,12 +158,13 @@ Resonant responses are impulsive, like a hammer hitting a bell.  %
 The impulsive limit is particularly well suited for describing time domain experiments.  %
 In the driven limit, pulses are narrow in frequency and long in time compared to material
 response.  %
-Resonant responses are driven, like a jello dessert sitting on a washing machine.  %
+Resonant responses are driven, like a jiggling jello dessert sitting on a washing machine.  %
 The expected spectrum in both of these limits can be computed analytically.  %
 Things get more complicated in the mixed domain, where pulses have similar bandwidth as the
 material response. %
 Experiments in this domain are a practical necessity as CMDS addresses systems with very fast
-dephasing times. \cite{SmallwoodChristopherL2016a, PerlikVaclav2017a}  %
+dephasing times. \cite{SmallwoodChristopherL2016a, PerlikVaclav2017a}  % BJT: connect bw and
+                                % dephasing
 At the same time, the marginal resolution in frequency \emph{and} time that the mixed domain
 possess promises huge potential in pathway resolution and decongestion.
 \cite{PakoulevAndreiV2009a}  %
@@ -208,7 +207,7 @@ Despite challenges in software, hardware, and theory MR-CMDS is a crucial tool i
 scientists.  %
 This dissertation describes several ways to make MR-CMDS more accessible through software and
 hardware development.  %
-PyCMDS has made data collection faster and more artifact-free.  %
+PyCMDS has enabled new experiments, and has made data collection faster and more artifact-free.  %
 WrightTools has trivialized data processing, tightening the loop between idea and execution.  %
 Theory can be used to guide experimental insight in the promising, if challenging, mixed domain.  %
 Applications of these ideas in three materials are presented.  %